Sometimes Loneliness is Just a Part of Me

Well, it is that time of year again, like the swallows flocking to Capistrano, the polo players of the CLU women's water polo team have returned to their rigorous schedule of two-a-day practices. Yes, this indeed is something that should have been taken into consideration when moving in with three players, but unfortunately it was not. And so, as the alarm clocks begin to beep throughout the house, slowly I begin to wake, roll over, and read the red numbers flashing on the clock. 5:15. Thank God I don't have an affinity for water sports. Gradually the bodies begin to rise from their sleepy states and venture off to certain frigidness. As for me, I roll over and go back to sleep. When I awake, I am not greeted by any cheery voices or happy faces; instead I am met by an overwhelming silence. I get up, and begin my routine, getting ready and going to class. I come home from class. Silence is still my only companion. I go to work and fill my afternoon with the adventures of my ever-energetic middle schoolers. And then I return to my house where I finally see some signs of life, but only for a couple hours, until at the very late time of nine o'clock, the girls set out for some slumber in hopes of preparing themselves for their grueling morning workouts. And so I am left again with the solitude. It is this solitude which has led me to do some really deep thinking lately. Maybe it is a weakness, maybe it is a strength, I'm beginning to think it is both, but when I am alone, I begin to think of the things that really touch me very deeply. When I am surrounded by others, I put those thoughts to the side, because I always try to focus on others and not myself. But when I'm alone, all bets are off, and suddenly those thoughts that I try to bury are very near to the surface. One of the things that I've been having a hard time with lately is the fact that I can't remember the sound of Monica's voice, or the way she laughs. I just wish I could hear her laugh again. In general, I've been feeling really lonely lately, and wishing that I had someone to hold me through these nights that seem too long to cry through.

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl

Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That sometimes loneliness is a part of me

I think everyone has that part of them that beats themselves down, whether it's about school, work, relationships, self-image. For me personally, I have moments of guilt that I could be a better friend to others in some way. I don't know why people do it, but I know the best way to beat it for me is prayer. I know that I have my issues, just like everyone else, but at the end of the day, when I sit down and let my most intimate thoughts to God, I feel good about the kind of woman I am becoming.

But even as these demons threaten my mental health, I can relax, and rejoice, because I know I already have the best friend I could have, and He holds me always. I am hoping to be able to go to church more often, I hear Grace Community is not too shabby...

Another thing on my list of worries, is my health. I have been having some weird things go on with my body, I'm not sure if it is stress related or worse, but some of it is starting to scare me.

Comments are welcome, Prayers are appreciated.

Chuck Norris

Thirty Things You Never Knew About Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris had his own version of Punk'd. Only in his version, he would walk around and roundhouse kick people in their throats.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and crapped on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the face when she didn't give him exact change.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.


I <3 Chuck Norris and you should too.... or I'll roundhouse kick you in the face.