Save Me From Myself

I'm Sorry if I scared you, But you caring that much was just what I needed. I am so SO blessed to have a man like you in my life to watch over me, Thankyou for being everything I need and more. I love you. (And no Ryan, that doesn't mean he and I are getting married.)



It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

And when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

Try Being Lonely...

Suppose you wanted someone the way I want you
Just imagine your body, mind and soul breaking in two
Walk the floor each night, shed tears you can't conceal
Just try being lonely, then you'll know just how I feel

I can't tell...

Do you love me so much that you will let me keep doing it, just to avoid hurting me by saying something? or do you just not love me enough to stop me? I have a feeling it's the second of the two. Just so you know, I would have sacrificed our friendship, and soo much more, if I thought it could have saved you.

I'm so glad I have Someone watching over me, who thinks this about me. It can't get better then this.

You're beautiful but you don't know
Can't see what's there inside your soul
Always feelin like you're not good enough
You wish you could be someone else
Sometimes you just can't see yourself
But I can see just who you are, who you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

You never you think you measure up
Never smart or cool, or pretty enough
Always feeling different from all the rest, oh
You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in
I think you're perfect in the skin you're in
You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are, yeah

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

If you could see the one I see when I see you
You'd know how lucky you are to be you
I see through into you
And you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

It's such a tiny blade... how much damage can it do?

We're moving forward, we're holding ourselves back and we're waiting on something that will never come...


take me away from here...

Dodgeball....

I'm like the kid who NEVER gets picked for dodgeball. Just once, I wanna know how it feels to be picked first.


I really do feel so much better now that I've told people what is on my mind, even if it was the scariest thing I've done in a long long time.

Don't Judge Me for What I Appear to be, Judge Me for Who I Am.

How is it that I can cry tears and tears for someone I don't even know, but can barely cry more then a couple of tears for myself? I have cried 3 times in the passed few weeks, the first time was 4 tears, the second two were 1 tear each. Before that, I hadn't cried one tear for myself in the passed two years. Maybe I never dealt with the pain, and now I think it's too late to reach that part of me that used to be so open. Some people might think I'm trying to sound tough, and that's fine. I'd rather you think I'm tough then what I really am.

My bad mood has nothing to do with anyone within reach. My bad mood has everything to do with things I can't change, and people who have been gone from me for too long now...

And all you've said and done, has walked me through your kingdom. I'll tell you what I see, I see the difference in everything... I never wanted you, I never wanted this, I am ready to live again, take me away from here.....

It takes more time than I've ever had,
drains the life from me,
makes me want to forget.
As young as I was, I felt older back then.
More disciplined, stronger and certain,
but I was scared to death of eternity.
I was saved by grace,
but destroyed by naivety,
and I lied to myself,
and said it was for the best.
So now, faith is replaced with a logic so cold.
I've disregarded what I was,
now that I'm older
and I know much more than I did back then,
but the more I learn,
the more I can't understand.
And I've become content with this life that I lead,
where I drink too much, and don't believe in much of anything.
And I lie to myself,
and say "it's for the best."
We're moving forward, but holding ourselves back,
and we're waiting on something that will never come...

Unfortunate.

You Say that I'm one of your best friends, and yet you keep yourself closed off from me. I don't know what to do, because you won't tell me what you need. I've been bending over backwards for your happiness, I am trying so hard. I'm really not asking for much in return. And if you can't give it to me, then maybe I need to get it somewhere else. The saddest realization that I've come to so far is that maybe I'm just not good enough. I've done everything I can think of, and none of it is right. Apparently I have no idea what can bring a smile to your face, and for that I'm truly sorry.

Even if you only love me 1% of how much I love you, it would be 10 times more then what you've shown me so far.